127483

Joke of the Day

"You did not have a valentine on valentines day? Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day so shut up"

"<--------- This guy can't think of anything to tweet so he's gone & done a cute little arrow & pointed it at his Avi with a funny comment."

"A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts."

"[counseling] She gets angry a lot ""He took me camping and left me in the middle of nowhere"" YOU SAID YOU LIKED SURVIVOR, KAREN"

"My new neighbour is fat, obnoxious and loud... Now I know how Canada feels"

"Me: Hey. Nice Honda. Him: It's an Acura. Me: All Asian cars look alike. Him: You're racist. Me: I bet your Toyota is good at math."

"It's not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight."

"What do you call and Irishman who works in a French cafe? Paddy Hor D'oeuvre"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...all over my crotch when I'm driving."

"I saw two guys having a fight on the train. So, being a bouncer, I dealt with the situation accordingly. I just stood there looking like a cunt."