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Joke of the Day

"Poop Patties What did the fry cook do when he found out they were making the burger patties with feces? He flipped a shit."

"My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'."

"I like my beer like i like my violence.. Domestic."

"The best stories ever told always end with the words""...and then I got the hell out of there."""

"This Uber driver is the worst. I can't roll down the windows, he keeps asking questions, the doors won't open, and now his siren is blaring."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! April ! April who ? April might make you feel better !"

"Got my right hand a Valentines Day card. Had to sign it with my left hand so it will be a surprise."

"What do I think about my toes? They couldn't be further from my mind."

"So I met this hooker who said she'd do anything for ten bucks . Guess who got his yard cut?"

"Why you shouldnt vote for Hillary because Bill always chose someone other than Hillary, and you should too"