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Joke of the Day

"Every earthquake is a reminder that you drunk-ate the good granola bars out of the earthquake kit eight years ago and never restocked them."

"I ate 15 raw oysters last night at the restaurant. I paid for it with exploding diarrhea. I think they would have preferred cash."

"Why did Trump bring his dog to the rally ? Because he likes it *ruffed up* !"

"What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaaiiinnss."

"What kind of meat does the Pope eat? Nun"

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired ( )"

"Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman."

"What do r/jokes subscribers and Catholic priests have in common? Both think the shorter the better."

"Two men walk into a bar. You think one of them would have seen it..."

"Did you hear about the Muslim Party? It was a blast"