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Joke of the Day

"Facebook is like an Emotion Bank People deposit their feelings to save, but usually gain very little interest."

"""As CEO of Tortoise Enterprises, this merger with Slug Corp is... Linda, where is everyone?"" ""They all called to say they're running late"""

"Did you hear about the terrorists who hijacked a plane of lawyers? They threatened to release one every hour til their demands were met."

"Great Britains new Prime Minister Did you see that Boris Johnson might be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain? I remember when the U.S. had a BJ in the top office!"

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only half the things that come out of her vagina are retarded"

"My parrot died today... I think its last words were, ""Fuck, I think my parrot is dying."""

"I used to be into sadism, necrophilia, and bestiality... ...but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse."

"So I was shopping online for antique guns..... and I got to the World War II section. I selected guns of French origin. They were all in mint condition."

"What do you call a duck that's a drug addict? A quack-head."

"I'll never be as horrified as the kid who suddenly realizes they've been following the wrong ""mom butt"" at the grocery store."