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Joke of the Day

"""As CEO of Tortoise Enterprises, this merger with Slug Corp is... Linda, where is everyone?"" ""They all called to say they're running late"""

"There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? meat"

"Coolest part of a space ship is the RADiator."

"If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-gong and died what would they put on his coffin? A lid."

"What cheese is the most religious? Swiss cheese! (it's the most hole-y)"

"When you want to marry a beautiful, a smart and a rich woman marry three times."

"I'm worried about the calendar... Its days are numbered"

"Nerdy joke What did the web server told the browser? My <BODY> is ready. What did the browser answer? Please give me <HEAD> first."

"I thought it was impossible to do 450 push ups in a minute until I discovered lying"

"Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh? A: Koresh only burned 85 people."