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Joke of the Day

"a man goes to the doctor... ""Whats wrong with me?"" ""You have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" ""So that I can examine you."""

"My wife and I laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more."

"[2054: We develop cheap cloning technology] [2055: Restaurant opens where you can have clones of yourself serve cooked clones of yourself]"

"Why don't the British make computers? They can't figure out how to make them leak oil."

"I found a satanic puzzle in the toilet today. It was a loo cipher"

"The most offensive jokes thread? I'll start What is the difference between chopping up a baby and an onion? - chopping up an onion makes you cry."

"When I got pregnant people would always say 'eating for two now are we?' I'd tell them to bugger off, I'm not cutting down."

"Fax? Why don't you just send it over on a dinosaur?"

"If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you."

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? One. But it takes the whole emergency room to remove it."