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Joke of the Day

"What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn? Goddamn right."

"It sucks when an album has a real chill sad song and you're like oh yeahh and then the next song is crazy loud it makes me wanna eat knives."

"Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFO's and aliens. Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted"

"Blonde joke of the day Q: What is the difference between a blonde, and a rooster? A: A rooster says cockadooledoooo, a blonde says, anycockwill"

"[OC] I went to prison for identity theft. Good news is I'm cell mates with a famous musician, bad news is I'm now Rick James' bitch"

"It's amazing how alcohol can make you do so many stupid things on your smart phone."

"The masochist said to the sadist, ""Hurt me!"" and the sadist said ""No."""

"There are two kinds of people in this world... Those that can extrapolate from an incomplete statement,"

"I talked to San Andreas about the earthquake yesterday. He said it wasn't his fault."

"What does the H stand for in Jesus H Christ? [Lame Joke] Haploid"