100706

Joke of the Day

"ATC: ""Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions? "" Cessna: ""To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating."" ATC: ""I meant in the next five minutes not years."""

"BAE: come over ME: we live together im sitting right here BAE: my parents arent home ME: what is wrong with you"

"What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Start swimming"

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Poop"

"North-Korean food I made North korean food for my GF. She said pizza isn't North korean. I said Shut up and eat it."

"Fave bit of the Breaking Bad finale is when Ross is like ""DID SHE GET OFF THE METH?"" and then Rachel shows up and says ""I got off the meth."""

"What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's? A Friar"

"Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside."

"I Went To The Zoo Yesterday The only animal they had was a dog. It was a Shih-Tzu."

"A police officer in Alabama finds... ...a black man with his arms and legs chopped off. He reports ""the worst case of suicide he's ever seen."""