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Joke of the Day

"Me: Look. There's a deer. Hunter: Don't spook it. Me: *slowly stuffing a werewolf mask back into my backpack*"

"My friend said he was really down because of his car troubles... I told him i didn't wan't to hear his saab story."

"If you have 12 enchiladas.... Is it a foot-alada?"

"What is a mouse's favourite game ? Hide and squeak !"

"Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!"

"Why did the Polish man think his wife was plotting to murder him? He found a bottle of polish remover on her dresser"

"Who likes a good baseball joke? How can you tell if a catcher has the shits? The pitcher got some on his balls. ;p"

"On a microwave, typing in 90 gives you a longer cooking time than typing in 100. MIND BLOWN"

"Why does Donald Trump take a Xanax when he goes to Mexico? To prevent His-Panic attacks."

"Hey, companies. No one has their confirmation number. You're the company, you do the work."