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Joke of the Day

"My son touched my leg & said ""so soft!"" Then he asked for his IPad back & I gave it to him. Girls aren't exactly rocket science, guys."

"I replaced the bulb in my refrigerator with a tanning bulb... that way if I ever get fat, at least I'll have nice color."

"Don't trust anybody who owns a working printer."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong socks this morning."

"Whats the difference between a black guy and a snow tire? A snow tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it."

"Why couldn't Hitler change a lightbulb? It was just out of his reich."

"If she says, ""I'm OK,"" you're fine. If she says, ""I'm Fine,"" You're not OK."

"My favorite part of deleting your history... ...is when you can still go to the previous page."

"""You know why I pulled you over?"" ""Does anyone know why anyone's pulled over?"" ""Wow. You're free to go."" ""Is anyone free?"" ""Oh you're good."""

"Why do people still buy bottle openers? I just don't see the reason for purchasing a bottle opener. I've been using my seat belt for years!"