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Joke of the Day

"Bruce Willis... Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies. Because, you know what they say about old habits..."

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey!"

"No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby."

"Just Googled camel toe, and it said, did you mean Travolta Chin?"

"They say alcohol cures everything, but that's a lie... It still hasn't cured my alcoholism."

"Me: looks like taco bells closed, sign says short staff Dad: well damnit! They should have hired taller people!!"

"In a new poll, 80% of Japanese women admit to having faked origami"

"How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? ""Please get out of the pool."""

"Asian drivers are so bad that some speculate that Pearl Harbor might have been an accident"

"On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker."