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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said she liked the jewelry my grandmother wore so I bought her a life alert necklace"

"It's hard having a cheesy personality... I get Provolonely."

"When i die i want to go peacefully like my friend in his sleep. Not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car."

"Do you know why there's no sound when Django has sex? Because the D is silent."

"Now THAT's what I call music! And THIS? THIS is what I call a movie. Oh & over there? A TV show! Don't even get me started on YouTube videos"

"I got an invite to a wedding that said ""black tie only""... But when I got there, everyone else was in tuxedos."

"Why did the undercover cop throw a wasp nest at the drug dealer? It was a sting operation."

"Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always."

"What do you call a cannibal that only eats Marxists? . . . a proletarian."

"What did the sadist do to the masochist? nothing."