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Joke of the Day

"Can't believe my neighbors don't have any rum. How am I supposed to enjoy their hot tub while they're on vacation?"

"[on a Speed date] pop quiz hotshot, if this date goes below 50 mph it explodes [her] that makes no sense [I mouth a tiny explosion sound]"

"How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him."

"What did the rock say when he went metamorphic? ""Holy schist."""

"What kind of shampoo do people with Down Syndrome use? Tresemme 21"

"A Lawyer walks into a bar He tries his hardest, and passes the exam."

"The embarrasing email Hillary Clinton doesn't want anyone to know about [deleted]"

"2016 jokes Sleep is my drug....my bed is my dealer....and my alarm clock is the police."

"So in 60,000 years the only thing the Aborigines have invented was a returning stick. Oh i meant to post this on /r/facts"

"How many Vietnam Veterans does it take to screw in a light bulb? YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN, BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE..!!!"