100363

Joke of the Day

"A man on one side of a river shouts to a man standing on the other side, ""Hey, how do I get to the other side of the river? The other man responds, ""You are on the other side of the river."""

"TIL that soldiers in Vietnam ate small amounts of C4 plastic explosive to get high. No wonder the US defense budget blew up so quickly."

"Wordpress is shutting down? http://www.everydayfails.com/articles/wordpress-is-shutting-down/"

"[White House] Any ideas on how to defeat ISIS? *Biden excitedly raises hand* Besides assembling the Avengers. *Biden dejectedly lowers hand*"

"It seems like every kid wants to be Spider-man or Batman now-a-days. They must have terrible parents if they all want to be orphans."

"I ate something evil and it's killing me... I don't know whether to get an ex-lax or an exorcist"

"Why did the dolphin commit suicide? Because his life had no porpoise"

"Dear Abby My name is Gloria Mae and I'm from Tennessee. I'm 14 years old and am still a virgin. Is my brother gay?"

"When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what? We do."

"Whites are now a minority in California you could say there is Juan too many Hispanics."