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Joke of the Day
"Drugs, is not the answer unless the question is why are you eating spaghetti with your hands."
Next Joke
"Me: *Asks question on snapchat* Them: *Answers question on snapchat* Me: ""Wait, what did I ask again?"""
"Science is tricky. Keeps you on your toes. Mineralogy? Study of minerals. Oceanology? Study of oceans. Meteorology? NOT ABOUT METEORS."
"-I can't stand liars and fakes -You are so pretty -See? Why can't everyone be honest like you"
"""Swimming is dangerous, so I wear floaties on my arms for safety!"" [cut to me floating face-down in a pool with only my arms above water]"
"What did the bassist say when he played too high? I'm in treble now"
"Me: So, hypothetically speaking, if we were dating would I get any free food? Her: Uh, excuse me? Me: *sigh* #1 combo with cheese, please."
"What's the problem with auto-erotic asphyxia? You don't know if you're coming or going"
"Why are men like paper cups? They're disposable"
"I'm writing a book called ""Stop Overreacting"". If you guys don't buy it I'm going to kill myself."