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Joke of the Day

"What do a Boston Marathon runner and Hitler have in common? Neither can finish a race."

"Why are Aluminum Phosphate ions so bad at math? They have trouble forming solutions."

"So I entered an astronomy contest the other day... ...I didn't come first but I did get a constellation prize. :-)"

"What do kids eat for breakfast? Yogoat"

"How do you kill a vampire baby? Stake and shake"

"I'll have you know, I've been sober for just over 100 days. Not like, in a row or anything...just in general."

"What do you call a socialite stripper? a peeler of the community!"

"A black man and a Mexican are in a car , who's driving it ? The Police"

"*friend gets divorced Mon* *friend goes on date Tues* *I break up with boyfriend* *15 years later I casually smile back at a stranger*"

"Have you heard of McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it."