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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the thin guy who went to Alaska for six months? He came back a husky fucker."

"People who were huge fans of the Backstreet Boys are now in positions of responsibility, making important decisions."

"A day in the life of a dick A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his next door neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy and his owner beats him on a daily basis."

"Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness... ...and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger."

"Live without pretending, Love without depending, Listen without defending, Speak without offending "

"Why did the man vomit after eating Middle Eastern food? It made his stomach falafel."

"A copy of Mein Kampf that belonged to Hitler was sold at auction for over $20,000... to an anonymous presidential candidate."

"My 6yo's homework today is learning how to count backwards. Yep that teacher knows about DUIs alright!"

"What do you need when you're constipated in math class? Squeeze Theorem"