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Joke of the Day

"What is it called when one punches a stripper? A hoedown!"

"My 8-year-old just offered me leftover cashews from his lunch, asking ""Do you want these nuts?"" and I'm not mature enough to be a parent."

"I started a band called 999 megabytes.... ...we have yet to secure a gig."

"don't kid yourself, the pace at which the cursor blinks before a blank space in a document is the actual heartbeat of God"

"Why did the feminist fail algebra? She couldn't solve inequalities."

"Shout out to male porn stars... Those guys are always hard at work"

"Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles."

"Insanity [insanity] (noun): Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results See Also: Going back to your ex"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt."

"What's the difference between three dicks, and the truth? Your mom can't handle the truth."