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Joke of the Day

"What do you get with a woman majoring in woman's studies? I don't know but she'll never make as much as a man AND SHE KNOWS IT!"

"HER: You've run over my dog ME: I'm so sorry HER: You're gonna have to replace him ME: [imagines finally being called a good boy] yes please"

"A lady says to the psychiatrist, ""I think I might be a nymphomaniac."" He says, ""I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour."" She says, ""How much for all night?"""

"Why do nuns always travel in pairs? Because one nun follows the other nun to make sure that nun doesn't get none."

"Become a PhD After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD... or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it."

"Did you hear about the new Italian tires? Dago here, dago there, and when dago flat, dago wop wop wop."

"My girlfriend is like the Zika virus She gave me a little head the other day."

"I recently did a survey on Syria. The results blew me away."

"What do you call tiny batman? Lil Wayne"

"How do you know if you have a high sperm count? If she has to chew before she swallows."