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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a cat that claims it's a lion crossed with a cougar? A liar."
Next Joke
"Somebody just said ""good morning"" to me in the elevator. Stare at the buttons like everyone else, asshole."
"I was visiting NYC for the first time when a black guy walked up to me and asked if the Yankees won I said, ""yeah man, you're free!"""
"The baby mouse ventures out of its lair and sees the world for the first time as a bat flies past.. The mouse rushes back into the lair screaming, ""Mommy, I've just seen an Angel!""."
"How many /r/news mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, but it only takes one to get it [removed]"
"I like my coffee like an excellent slave Black!"
"My inner man is a fabulous gay dude named Gary who loves pedicures and bon-bons."
"Eye of the Tiger came on the radio and I got so excited the macaroni salad I was making is all over the walls and the cat has a black eye."
"Intellectual. A man who can explain electricity but doesn't know how to screw in a light bulb."
"PEOPLE WITH CHRONICALLY MOIST HANDS: When you have dry lips, rub them on your palms. I call it Lip palm. It's free."