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Joke of the Day

"Confucious he say... Man who fart in church, sit in his own pew..."

"What did the man get for winning the muscle relaxing contest? Atrophy!"

"Patient: ""Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum."" Doctor: ""I've got some cream for that."""

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, do feminists still try to blame it on the patriarchy?"

"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected"

"In his prime, Richard Simmons was, at best, in just okay shape."

"The REAL 5 second rule? If you can get to it before the dog, it's yours."

"I was going to smoke a joint with some Mexicans But when I asked if anyone had papers, they all ran off."

"My farmer buddy is so lazy. Even when we go to the bar, he only picks the low hanging fruit."

"How do sheep keep warm in winter ? Central bleating !"