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Joke of the Day

"Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve."

"Met this Muslim chick at the bar and she told me to add her as a friend on Eyebook."

"When you're as good at levitation as I am... It's hard to keep your feet on the ground."

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind."

"I met a new girl in work today, and she was a vegan I've never seen herbivore"

"Why did the artist put on a show of horse paintings? He wanted to mount an exhibit!"

"Dark humor is like clean water... it's just not accessible to everyone."

"How many Amish guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One... I mean, they aren't fucking retarded."

"*joaquin phoenix croses a street adn almost gets hit by a taxi* *mumbles to himsef* cmon man whyd he try to do that. i mean, im joaquin here"

"Last week I competed in the World Tanning Championships.. I came out with a Bronze.."