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Joke of the Day

"A girl came up to me yesterday and told me she had constipation. I replied - 'no shit'."

"If I was hanging off a cliff for my life and you told me to take your hand I would stop screaming to tell you I'm afraid of intimacy"

"I used to be a fan but now I'm an air conditioner."

"I need all zombie jokes you know, Reddit."

"What is the difference between a human dad and a moth dad? Two letters."

"I just whispered ""Come at me, bro"" to a bug and it ran towards me, so now I'm in my car driving away from my old life."

"I gave my russian wife a shirt.. but all she did was iron curtains. PS: Found a similar comment."

"[stranded on Mars] me: [journal day 1] I have enough rations for 300 maybe 400 days me: [journal day 2] I am out of rations"

"Have you heard about the first restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere."

"Deshsawn, Jamal, Tyrone, Darryl, and Darnell all went to see a movie... The 3 of them had fun."