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Joke of the Day

"Would you like to know how to read minds? It's simple! Just relax. Take a deep breath. Minds Minds Minds Minds Minds"

"What's bruked, broke, and fucked all over? The country!"

"Sometimes people ask me why I don't wear a watch. It is because I just don't have the time."

"So, I walk in on daughter masturbating with a carrot. I shout, ""Fuck! Seriously? I was going to eat that later, and now it's just going to taste like carrots!"""

"What's green, slimy and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)"

"What's it called when an Arabic author releases their latest novel after dinner? Post-Hummus"

"A giant porn conspiracy has been uncovered.... It was run by the illuminaughty"

"Two Irish men walk into a bar.... What else is new?"

"""My fellow Americans-"" Barack ""we are working tirelessly-"" Sir ""to make sure-"" Barack. You're still wearing ur xbox headset"

"What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard? We're Snowden!"