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Joke of the Day

"How many violent revolutions does it take to change a lightbulb? Violent revolutions never change anything."

"I only had kids so I'd have a valid excuse for always being late"

"Where do the most murders occurr in a super market? The cereal aisle"

"A priest and a rabbi are walking in the park. The priest turns to the rabbi and asks, ""How much do you charge for circumscisions?"" The rabbi responds, ""They're free, but I get to keep the tips."""

"Favorite Doubles: 1. Scotch 2. Cheeseburgers 3. Bourbon 4. Entendres 5. Dipping"

"Sales of Advent calendars down by 80% this year It looks like their days are numbered"

"A girl once asked me if she was fat I told her that she was beautiful. In fact, she could model in a summer swimsuit catalog if she wanted. I hear they're casting for beach balls."

"What happened to Wendy from Wendy's? ""The Baconator"""

"I'm not saying all Irish are alcoholics, but Italians, Chinese + Mexicans have restaurants. The Irish only have pubs."

"Dog Morpheus: Ok, Dog Neo. You take the grey pill, you wake up in your kennel. But if you take the GREY pill - I will show you the Matrix."