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Joke of the Day

"If someone catches me staring I quickly look to my left & right so they think ""oh that girl's not looking at ME she's looking at EVERYTHING"""

"as a teen did you ever steal your moms booze and fill it back up with water, or steal money out of her purse and fill it back up with water"

"America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital."

"I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge."

"Women usually love when I compliment them on their youthful appearance. But this lady is obviously upset over comments about her pimples."

"There is nothing worse than running out of toilet paper and having to ask the guy in the next stall to wipe you."

"I met a girl who's family is so loaded... even the bags under her eyes are designer"

"Three men decide to have a threesome It's tough finding six women."

"Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? because he was outstanding in his field."

"I always keep a taser on me in case anyone asks if they can have one of my fries."