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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to swim the English channel? Halfway across he decided he couldn't make it so he swam back."

"In high school, people called me ""Superman"" due to my light eyes and physical build. Also because I wore my underwear on top of my pants."

"First Boy: Why is your brother always flying off the handle ? Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose !"

"If you're doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide from the giant surveillance apparatus the government's been hiding."

"This election has been a bit like watching porn... The hype was fun but now it's over I'm disgusted by what I'm watching."

"""Your days are numbered!"" - inventor of the calendar, joyously announcing his accomplishment"

"What's one thing that a canoe will do that a Jew won't? tip!"

"Two peanuts walk out of a bar one was assaulted( a salted)......peanut"

"A guy walks in a library and asks for a book on how to commit suicide Librarian: Fuck you, you won't return it"

"What do you call it when a Cat wins a Dogshow? Cat-has-trophy. Such punny. Much Cringe."