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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to swim the English channel? Halfway across he decided he couldn't make it so he swam back."

"Gay jokes are not funny Cum on guys...."

"Her: Do you have any kids? Me: I have 2 step kids Her: None of your own? Me: no Her: How come? Me: facials Her: I'm sorry what? Me: What?"

"How did Jesus get so ripped? 39 lashes."

"Who were the shortest people in the Bible? Let's see. There's Kneehighmiah, Bildad the Shoe-Height...oh, and Peter, who said, ""Silver and gold I have none,"" and no one could be much shorter than that."

"Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting."

"What do we call that one small worm that won't shut up? A chatterpillar"

"WIFE: Will he ever wake up? DOCTOR: Only a shocking truth will do it W: i sold his pet hamster ME *eyes fly open* WHERE HAS THEODORE GONE"

"cop: the perp was found with red paint on his fingers, so i guess you could say he was caught.. *looks at camera* why is there a camera here"

"Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York? Driver: Which part? Passenger: All of me of course!"