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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to take a shower and wash my hair, only to have it washed later at the salon. Because, I'm a woman and that makes sense."

"If I'm on a sneezing fit it's best to let me go, because by the 4th time you say ""God bless you,"" I'm ready for you to be out of my life."

"The difference between your boyfriend and Ronda Rousey is... Ronda actually gets paid to disappoint people for 48 seconds."

"What do you call a Serbian national hero? a war criminal"

"What doesn't kill you......seriously disappoints me!"

"Wrong number Some guy keeps texting ""stand and deliver"" to me. I keep telling him he's got the wrong number, but he's adamant"

"When one door closes another door opens, pretty sure my house is haunted, I sleep on the porch"

"I started a merkabah business. It really took off."

"Germany's survey (x-post from r/German_Humour) Survey in Germany: 'Do you thing there are too many foreigners in Germany?' 10%: 'YES!' 10%: 'NO!' 80%: ' !'"

"When is a door not a door? How the hell is ajar supposed to work with this? Adoor and ajar? 'Cuse me?"