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Joke of the Day

"Everyone at my funeral gets a stun gun. The last person standing gets all my stuff."

"Some fantastically good advice about proper care of your butthole. That's right. Your butthole. [PIC]"

"What did the monkey say when he was throwing his feces? This shit is bananas!"

"Turns out those miniature liquor bottles aren't for babies and now my brother says I can't be the God Mother."

"What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits for a boy to be 14 before it comes on his face"

"STOP EDITING YOUR PICS, what if you go missing? How tf can we find you if you look like Beyonce on Instagram but Waka Flocka in real life?"

"(TERRORIST WARNING) Why did the suicidal air go to the airport? So he could BLOW it up. Please don't hurt meh."

"my dick was in the guinness book of world records. then the librarian told me to take it out"

"Why do squirrels have bushy tails? To keep their nuts warm."

"What do Russian women get from their husbands that's long and hard on their wedding night? His last name."