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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that Protons have mass?... I didn't even know they were Catholic!"

"Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them."

"Chopped: College Edition. ""In your mystery basket: Ramen Noodles, coffee, crippling debt, a worthless degree. Chefs, you have 30 minutes."""

"When hubs is sleeping I put my Care Bear blanket on him and take the most adorable blackmail photos ever."

"What happened to the heretical chef? He was burnt at the steak."

"If Amy Poehler was a cold front.... She'd be the Poehler Vortex"

"I don't see why people are outraged when Donald Trump says if Ivanka wasn't his daughter, he'd be dating her. After all, if Ivanka wasn't Trump's daughter, I'd date her too."

"What's a nymphomaniac cook's least favourite ingredient? Italian dressing"

"I have gotten outta bed 365 days a year for 37 years. That is 13,505 sit-ups. And not ONE ab to show for it."

"What do you call two fake number fours next to each other? Fauxty faux"