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Joke of the Day

"I just walked in on my manager vigorously masturbating. He told me to stop vigorously masturbating and get the hell out of his office."

"How much did the Cubs pay the devil to win the World Series? 2016."

"Just watched a commercial...How is it possible that the side effect for asthma medication is shortness of breath?"

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Every time she gets to 69, she has a frog in her throat."

"Sometimes I go days without even thinking about the Alamo."

"TIL ""saltpeter"" is a casual term for potassium nitrate. The more you KNO..."

"My doctor told me to start killing people. Not in those exact words but he said I needed to reduce my stress. Same thing."

"Did you hear about the musician who couldn't even pay to be in tune? He was only a few cents off."

"I went to the zoo and there was one dog in the whole zoo. It was a shih tzu"

"You have to remember to be sensitive with jokes about the events in Paris. One mean joke and the reaction could be Explosive"