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Joke of the Day

"Jews and pizzas What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven."

"I'm a bit worried. I was checking my testicles this morning, and I noticed that one of them... ...is considerably larger than the other two."

"I'm getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I've been to in the last week that's had ""insufficient funds""."

"What do you call a clown that gives you flowers? A Romantic Jester!"

"Son: Dad, I need some money! Dad: You should get a job at the StarBrites factory. Son: Why? Do they pay well? Dad: You kidding? ***You'll make a mint!***"

"What's the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him."

"Given how, when I try to eat a banana, I end up holding the peel while the actual fruit falls to the floor, I'm ok never handling a firearm."

"I won the local hot dog eating contest and didn't even know I was competing."

"Non vaccinated I don't believe in vaccines for my children. FDR never had the polio vaccine and he was President for 12 years."

"I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of just nuts."