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Joke of the Day
"Why are women like condoms? Because they spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."
Next Joke
"When the Williams sisters' play against each other, who sits in Venus's box? Old Dick i.e. Richard Williams, her dad"
"We've had the selfie and now the selfie stick. So when will our phones be renamed Selfones."
"What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits a car's windshield? Its butt!"
"My mother + my father condom = MOST AWESOME PERSON ALIVE!"
"Still in love with various hypothetical women."
"A pirate walks into a bar. He's got a steering wheel on his belt buckle. The bartender asks ""What's with the steering wheel?"" The pirate says ""ARRGGHH! It's drivin' me nuts."""
"I went to get lyposuction the other day. It really takes a lot out of you. (Thought of this one in the shower :D)"
"Knock knock -Knock knock. -Who's there? -Athens. -Oh no, it's the polis!"
"What did sushi A say to sushi B? WASSA-B!!!"