198555

Joke of the Day

"When the Williams sisters' play against each other, who sits in Venus's box? Old Dick i.e. Richard Williams, her dad"

"A student walks into class late... Teacher: ""Why are you late?"" Student: ""While I was coming, I saw a sign that said **School ahead. Slow down.**"""

"Happy Let's-Pretend-This-Relationship-Is-Still-Working Day"

"The grass is always greener When its not my weed"

"So, I got a card from a friend that said ""I'm Sorry"". It was all handcrafted and I didn't know what it was for, but I was flattered. I opened it and it said ""For fucking your mom"" :0 WTF!?!?!?"

"I have no respect for paedophiles... ... they're fucking immature assholes."

"I ordered the CliffsNotes version of Snooki's book and they sent me a bar menu, a printout of the urban dictionary and an STD pamphlet."

"I had a boyfriend once....right up until the moment my dad asked him ""so what do you do?"" and he replied your daughter. He's Dead."

"It's 100% legal to give cops the finger. But remember, it's also apparently 100% legal for them to shoot and kill you."

"Sorry to hear about your breakup. If it's any consolation, I don't know what he ever saw in you."