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Joke of the Day

"ME (a ghost): You know how Bill Nye used to say ""don't try this at home""? Well, I did, and he kicked in the door and shot me in the face."

"What kind of jeans does Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim"

"My son does this cute thing where he installs games on my phone and then for weeks I get notifications that my village is under attack."

"Kobe was one of the best Lakers players of all time But Magic Johnson was definitely the most positive."

"The only thing keeping me from driving off this bridge is the insurance rate increase if I survive."

"A man is in critical condition for swallowing 250,000 dollars in large bills. No change is expected."

"To all future Canadian inmigrants: Mexico welcomes you!"

"flames on the side of your car screams i want small children to think im badass but i want parents to know im not financially stable"

"Guy comes to my door and asks if I want to be a Jehovah's Witness I said, ""Hey man I didn't even see the accident"""

"Blonde and brunette are stuck in elevator... Blonde starts yelling HELP HELP Brunete: it is better if we yell together. Blonde: TOGETHER TOGETHER"