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Joke of the Day

"I overheard a guy complaining angrily about the NSA tracking him Some people are so annoying when they have a chip on their shoulder."

"What Cell Phone Company does Usain Bolt use? Sprint"

"If I untagged myself in your Facebook picture that had nothing to do with me, please consider it as a polite fcuk you."

"How often does Mary see her special friend? Periodically."

"What was the best time in history for the Italians? The Marin-era"

"How many Im not saying she's a slut But jokes are there? Im not saying she a slut but: She's been boarded more times than Amtrak"

"How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One? Or two?"

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg...? ...which ever one was more excited."

"Just bought lean chicken breasts instead of hot wings for supper because I'm a stupid fucking mature adult."

"All I'm saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?"