97860

Joke of the Day

"""You've lost some weight."" sounds suspiciously like ""You were a disgusting fatso before, but I was too nice to say so.""."

"If weddings were for couples there would be men's wedding magazines."

"Two wrongs don't make a right. And two half-wits don't make a wit."

"Did you hear about the serial killer who was coming out of retirement? He's taking another stab at it."

"How do you know you're in a modern art museum? If you need to ask if the bench is an art piece."

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster."

"What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room? You made the chain too long in the kitchen."

"Daughter: Dad do Zombies exist? Dad: No dear they're people wearing lots of makeup. Daughter: Oh like mommy? Dad: Close enough."

"Every baby deserves a fair shake."

"In June of last year, a beautiful woman on the subway saw me yawn & then she yawned. So I think we can cool it with the ""virgin"" talk."