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Joke of the Day

"Harry is a? Fucking WIZARD!"

"My friend said this in the middle of class. Best joke I have EVER heard. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 knew what 6 and 9 were doing."

"If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious."

"Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature."

"Let's say weed does make me dumber. Then you should be thanking me for levelling the playing field."

"Did you hear about the girl that went fishing with the three guys? She came back with a red snapper."

"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you'll wish you had a fucking club and a spade."

"What has two legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat."

"""Doctor, is the baby healthy?"" ""Yes Kanye, and just so you know I was the first one to hold her."" ""Huh?"" *Ray-J pulls off surgical mask"

"*dramatically gets out of bean bag chair for 20 minutes*"