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Joke of the Day

"What would Bart Simpson's first Steam game be? D'oh-ta 2"

"Someone you don't care about just listened to a song you don't like on Spotify!"

"I just watched one bird chase another bird from tree to tree for five minutes. It was probably over a stolen tweet."

"You know you're getting old when you scroll down the birthday drop down menu ... And it starts going into Roman Numerals."

"Since getting the new iPhone with fingerprint unlock technology I've never worried so much about losing my thumb."

"Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing? In case you get a hole in one."

"What do you call a white supremacist with an IQ of 56? Gifted."

"COP: ""Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"" ME: ""It was way easier than solving a murder?"""

"Sex is a misdemeanor; the more I miss, the meaner I get!"

"Ronda Rousey and I have something in common We both finish in 34 seconds."