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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my tea... ...white, weak and you can't tell if what you're drinking is piss or not."

"How many bronze players do you need to change a lightbulb? None. They can't climb the ladder."

"You know, I heard listening to Queen has been scientifically proven to give people autism. Apparently because of the unusually high Mercury content."

"What's a baker's biggest fear? Something going a-rye while they're raisin' bread."

"You know what Nixon did wrong? He only broke into the watergate hotel once. He should have done it everyday. Then it would have been normal. Yes, you got it, jokes on you."

"Two things went wrong today 1. My Wife got ran over by a bus 2. I lost my job at the bus company"

"I decided to put laxatives in my weed brownies... Just for shits and giggles!"

"Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?"

"I do resistance training every day It's called refusing to go to the gym"

"In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."