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Joke of the Day

"In an ideal world, a ""Laser Jet"" would be something to vaporize aliens with and not a fucking type of printer."

"WHY DOES THIS BOTTLE OF BODY WASH HAVE DIRECTIONS PRINTED ON IT"

"What do you call 10,000 SJW's at the bottom of the ocean? a good start."

"I'd like to thank my boyfriend for translating ""mucho"" for me It means a lot"

"What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV? The Patriots"

"I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method."

"How many Chinese workers does it take to make a Smartphone? I dunno. Ask the kids."

"Just got unfollowed by exorcist scary looking lady with crazy eyes who has ""will get in cars with strangers"" in her bio. I'm hiding........"

"Me: *singing ""Don't stop believing""* Joe: What are you doing? Me: Practicing for Journey duty J: You mean Jury duty? M: No, it says...shit"

"If a friend tells you a half-assed joke that's not worthy of an LMAO, give them a LOCO - laughing one cheek off"