97023

Joke of the Day

"I'm having mixed feelings about that garlic diet... So far, I've lost 6 pounds and most of my friends."

"*points to person jogging outside through the snow* ""Look kids, a lunatic"""

"Me: Siri, how hot does fire need to be to burn a body. Siri: Kris, we go over this once a week. Make a note."

"This Political Correctness stuff is really getting out of hand. I can't even say ""black paint"" anymore. Now I have to say ""Jamal, please paint."""

"So I studied abroad in college... She never called me back though."

"Why do most French recipes require only one egg? In France, one egg is *un oeuf*"

"A woman called and said ""I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those computer planes."" I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said ""Yeah whatever."""

"TOO MUCH PROTEIN? No whey mate"

"What do Trump and an Aluminum can have in common? They easily get bent out of shape..."

"Do blind people believe in love at first hear?"