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Joke of the Day

" You're born. You grow up. You believe in Santa. You stop believing in Santa. You look like Santa. You are Santa. You die."

"What effect does global warming have on Pennsylvania? It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."

"How can you tell if your son is gay? Ask him to go to a football game. If he can't go, because he's busy sucking his boyfriend's dick, he might be gay."

"My wife wants me to be her sexual advisor She said:""if I want your fucking opinion I'll ask for it"""

"The last time we had a white Christmas, I made snow angels. I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians."

"[High school reunion] Classmate: I've been out building schools in Africa Me: I got banned from the zoo for gluing sideburns onto a dolphin"

"All carpentry tool names were created by someone in desperate need of sex."

"I'm getting my wife's name tattooed on my penis So I can keep beating her long after she's gone (I'm so sorry)"

"""Do not iron"" Like that was ever going to happen..."

"What kind of murderer has moral fiber? A cereal killer."