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Joke of the Day

"I'm getting my wife's name tattooed on my penis So I can keep beating her long after she's gone (I'm so sorry)"

"What's the difference between a trump supporter and a newly adopted Siberian husky? The dog has the mental fortitude to realize he's just gotten owned by a Russian."

"Anyone know the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? You know, besides the taste."

"Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... Pretend it's a beer... - Me trying not to drop a baby."

"I like my women the way I like my coffee. I don't like coffee"

"How is the RNC going to wash themselves of the reputation Trump has given them? Lather, Reince, repeat."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Buddha ! Buddha who ? Buddha this slice of bread for me !"

"I was angry when my neighbors put a fence around their swimming pool but then I got over it"

"How do you package a 21st century classical jazz singer? Buble wrap Sorry "

"thought about a giraffe accidentally getting it's own long neck in a knot and i jus started cryin"