192429

Joke of the Day

"The last time we had a white Christmas, I made snow angels. I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians."

"Why is Budweiser just like having sex on a boat? Because both are fucking close to water..."

"Confucius Say Women who fly plane upside down have crack up."

"It's not PC to give your wife a black eye You should really be giving her an african american eye"

"Why did the scientist regret naming the organism ""Fungus""? Because after they hung out Gus was actually a pretty boring guy."

"What's the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch the other watches your snatch."

"Why do Irish stew recipes only call for 239 beans? Because one more, and it would be too-farty."

"I'm so glad I'm old enough to know what's bad for me and young enough to do it. "

"*put cooked chicken in oven* *offer to cook date dinner* *put raw chicken in oven* *immediately pull out cooked chicken* *keep eye contact*"

"My Dad taught me to swim the old fashion way He took me down to the river and threw me in. As soon as I got out of that burlap sack I could swim like a fish!"