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Joke of the Day

"The DJ just asked me ""How low can you go..."" So I slept with his wife and took custody of his kids."

"me: *tries to help old lady cross the street* old lady: I have a boyfriend."

"I was born with abnormally large arms.... ...the doctor said I was very humerus"

"Most of the 1800s was spent painting chubby chicks."

"What's a vaccines favorite song? Shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots"

"I hate it when I have lots of visitors but only enough chloroform for one and have to use it on myself."

"A man worked at an orange juice factory, but he was canned because he couldn't concentrate."

"I don't like my new hair cut... But it's growing on me."

"I lost one of mom's Tupperware at work and now I'm looking for a new family to adopt me."

"Nine out of ten people enjoy gangbangs ...But I only have group sex when it's consensual."