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Joke of the Day
"I would like to meet the man who invited beer. And buy that guy a beer. Edit: invented."
Next Joke
"Hitler and his men are having a meeting. Hitler: We will kill 6 million Jews and 1 clown. Men: Why the clown? Hitler: See! I told you nobody cares about the Jews!"
"Calling someone ""stupid"" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis."
"ME: all the King's horses and men couldn't put u back together HUMPTY DUMPTY: what now M: [opening package of bacon] I'll think of something"
"Like a good neighbor plow my driveway, not my wife"
"Ray Charles has said he doesn't mind being blind.. Because at least he isn't black!"
"What did one volcano call the other volcano? An Ash-hole."
"Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit? He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it."
"A couple of ladies asked me if I wanted to have a threesome with them. I said, ""No thank you. If I wanted to disappoint two people at once, I would have dinner with my parents."""
"What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise"