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Joke of the Day

"Someone called me lazy today... I almost responded."

"My girlfriend and I went to the Renaissance fair and saw a minstrel get cut in the arm He's gonna be okay though, my girlfriend had just the thing to stop the flow of minstrel blood"

"Did you hear about the girl with the boobs on her back? She was hell to look at but nice to dance with."

"My wife said the infinity scarf I got her is too small and I said: ""That's mathematically impossible."" Anyhoo, we're divorced now."

"Mexicans are so good at basketball It's in there blood. They can Run, Jump, Shoot and steal."

"I have a habit of standing naked in the laundry room wondering what to wear. This may have contributed to my immense popularity in college."

"You heard about Pluto? That's messed up, right?"

"I'm not one of those moms who talks about her kids all the time because their lives don't interest me in the least."

"How many of those brownies did you eat, private? ""All of them sir!"" ""That was my stash private."" ""Negative sir it was labeled private!"""

"What economic theory opposes manscaping? Laissez-fur!"