96743

Joke of the Day

"What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear? Denim denim denim...denim denim demin I'll see myself out now...thank you"

"How do we know Snow White was a hipster? She could never say no to apple."

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and the other to beat the room for being black."

"A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool So I gave him a glass of water."

"Barack Obama has a long one, George Bush has a short one, Lorde doesn't have one and Pope Francis doesn't use his... Last names. What were you expecting?"

"Someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds Poor bastard."

"Why do muslims love classical music? It has lots of violins"

"What kind of bees scare neckbeards? Boo-bees."

"What happened when the chicken ate cement ? She laid a sidewalk !"

"My son cried when I gave him his breakfast this morning. I made him scrambled eggs, covered them in ketchup & told him it was Humpty Dumpty."