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Joke of the Day

"My dad on cheese Me talking to my sister: Me: don't you think you'll get constipated with all that cheese Dad: I don't think she'll give a shit"

"I like horror movies because it's the only place insanely hot people are treated poorly"

"Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand she has to give directions!"

"Did you hear about the couple of gay Irishmen? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."

"I've been dumped by my girlfriend... She found me creepy as I always had to have a name for my penis, oh well, guess I'll have to take Matters into my own hands now."

"What do black guy's have that is twice the size of white men's, and expands upon contact with a woman? A criminal record."

"Like a radiologist researching sausage digestion, I tend to see the Wurst in people"

"Donald Trump is like the ""Scream"" movies in that he blurs the line between comedy and horror."

"An Olympic gymnast walked into a bar... She didnt get a medal..."